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May 22, 2005

And by that do you mean behind the wheel?

To magnify the challenge, the early [Nascar] drivers might race with a live monkey in the cockpit, as Flock's brother Tim did in the 50's, or race while drunk, as Curtis Turner used to do throughout his long and bumpy career.

From "'Sunday Money' and 'Full Throttle': Nascar Nation", by Jonathan Miles, NYTROB, May 22, 2005.

Several questions come immediately to mind: did one train with a parakeet and work up to a primate? Did drivers, figuring no one was looking closely, ever substitute a stuffed monkey? Did the monkeys, also figuring no one was looking closely, ever substitute stuffed drivers? Were the monkeys themselves always sober? If you are so transporting a monkey, are you required to use a child safety seat, and if so, is the safety seat required to be in the rear of the vehicle? Did the monkeys wear cute little logo-covered driving suits and monkey crash helmets?

And the biggie: what other sports would be enhanced by the addition of live monkeys? Golf, certainly, but there must be others.

UPDATE #1: Well, OK, I don't have a copy of the book in question, so I can't be sure, but the above probably refers to an era where the job prospects for chimpanzees had expanded. People all over were sending monkeys places new places.

UPDATE #2: Golf, certainly. Climbing Everest? Who's going to carry the banana daquiris?

Posted by Brenden at May 22, 2005 8:44 PM


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